Fiercely Confident

 

I typically provide leadership development training and consulting for adults. For the past decade I’ve had the privilege of facilitating discussions for a multitude of organizations on conflict management, growth mindsets, agility, personality assessments, emotional intelligence and communication skills. I think people are innately intrigued on some psychological level how we connect with others.  It’s like food and water. As human beings, connecting with people is a need. Interactions shape and mold us. Sometimes those interactions can impact our confidence.

Many of us identify who we are through our professional life. Our sense of self-worth can be influenced by our role within an organization and how we contribute to the team. During leadership development programs, it’s a delight to see teams and individuals discover better ways of connecting and building synergy. You can see confidence emerge and momentum spark. Trying a different approach when communicating is empowering. It’s filled with choice, agility and possibility.  Better communications become better relationships. And reflection. Reflection supports so much of this.

I’ve found that these same communication tools and resources delivered for the professional are also applicable to parents and their kids. We aren’t just who we are as professionals. And I wager, if you have kids, you identify as a parent first.

This rang true while connecting with a mom friend after a day of professional development training. I listened to the daily drama manifest and empathized with the challenges our kids were facing as they navigate the emotional halls of middle school. The same tools provided during my day were relevant to our conversation. The resources from the professional classroom merged into life and how we could help our kids.  Fiercely Confident was born!

Through months of research, reflection, and a multitude of dialogues with friends, colleagues, clients and family, two truths emerged:

no matter your geographic location, middle school can suck, and we all want to be included on some level.

Fiercely Confident is a framework to spark reflection and conversations for parents and their kids. My wish is for this book to encourage dialogues and introduce mindsets that promote resilience, reflection, confidence and enthusiasm for parents and kids.

And I’m still here for the professionals too.  Fiercely Confident will be delivered as a keynote for the PTSA National Conference this Spring. Thrilled to launch resources and workshops to influence confidence for all ages.

COMING SOON to AMAZON.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

A Line Drawn in the Sand

So let’s talk mindsets people. Because it’s so very important to have a positive one these days.  Mindset is what makes all the difference when it comes to achieving goals. Mindset influences our actions and behaviors. It influences our ability to move forward. And in these times, it’s paramount for us to be extremely selective with our thoughts.

Can you think back to less than 90 days ago?  2020 was going to be thee year.  But, we’re social distancing.  Working remotely.  COVID 19 and speculation for when these uncertain times will end are the topics for every conversation.

For some, right now it may feel like an NFL game with less than a minute to play and the score is 23 to 3. Question. Which team are you on?  That response alone puts a spotlight on where your mindset is.  No matter the score, how do you continue to play with all your heart?  I asked this very question to an individual who emulates focus and an unwavering dedication to health and mindset. During a recent dialogue, NFL Super Bowl champion and FitSpeed owner Darcy Johnson provided insights into how he sustains a positive mindset, dedication and perseverance to his professional and personal goals.

I first met Darcy last summer after I saw a Facebook ad offering a six-week health challenge.  Weary of my scale going in the wrong direction, and eager for a change, I submitted my info and made an appointment to visit the gym. That gym was FitSpeed.

The day of my appointment, I met Darcy and he walks me through the program. His positive energy was instantly infectious. I’m intrigued but as I looked at my calendar said, “There’s no way I can do this. Six-week commitment? I’m a road warrior. I travel too much.”   Darcy looked me dead in the eye and asked me “When will you decide you’re worth it? When will you decide to make yourself and your health a priority?”

It was a line drawn in the sand. And I signed up that day.  In that moment, I took the step to make myself a priority. Now a member of FitSpeed, I love the community I’ve found with my 5:30am workout crew and the strength and endurance I’ve gained from a commitment to fitness.

Darcy is dedicated to fitness and well-being.  His viewpoint:

“Health is so important. It’s our bodies. A healthy body is positive. It keeps us going. It’s like they say on a plane, help yourself before helping others. That’s what health is all about. Help your body support your life.”

And when I reflect on my journey, I wonder what would have happened if Darcy hadn’t challenged me.  If he hadn’t drawn a line in the sand.  So, I question: do we need that? Do we constantly need a line drawn in the sand to influence action? What is that motivating line that sparks action?  What does it look like? Once that line is drawn, how do we keep momentum? How do we sustain the excitement and the initial rush to withstand the journey?

For Darcy, the NFL influenced an unwavering mindset to play with all your heart.  He said,

“You’re always being graded in the NFL. No matter the game, your performance is always being evaluated. You’re not thinking about just that play, but the next game, the next season, the next draft.”

Dedication was further sparked by his wife, Carissa.

“She is my partner and I know how lucky I am for her to be in my life. Before I met Carissa, I didn’t realize that people could live such a positive life.” 

Now the love for God, his wife and family motivate Darcy to live positively every day.

Last month I addressed Mindset and goal planning. Psychologically, I’m intrigued with how we react when faced with challenges.  I find the fight or flight conversation captivating.  How is one sparked to act when faced with a challenge and another not?  So, in these uncertain times, will you fight or flee?  The score is 23 to 3.  Which team are you on? Which team do you want to be on?  What if right now is a line drawn in the sand for our communities? Our cities? Our country? Ourselves?  What if we took this time make ourselves a priority? What if we stopped talking about how we’re powerless and look at the blessings around us and start planning? What if we started to play with all our heart? Intrigued? Here’s how.

Steps to Increase Mindfulness & Emotional Investment.

1 – Know your WHY? Your purpose. Your passion. What we love takes little effort, it’s just what we do and who we are. We’re inspired and motivated. We crave the adrenaline for doing it. We “lose time” in these productive moments. If we live in our ‘why,’ we can easily build more of these moments into our day. **Note: Master this step. It makes the next steps easier.

2 – Build awareness of your internal dialogue and then shift as needed. Are you being supportive or negative? Are your emotions and thoughts past focused or forward focused?  Micheal Hyatt in his book Free to Focus writes:

“We reserve the word discipline for those things we don’t want to do. Thoughts can be limiting. Example:
Limiting belief: I don’t have enough time. 
Shifting: I have all the time I need to accomplish what matters most.”

Are your thoughts sparking and inspiring or limiting? As Ford once said,

Whether you think you can or can’t you’re probably right.”

3 – Plan. If we don’t plan, we’re leaving room for distractions. If the goal isn’t written down with a timeline or plan of action, it’s only a dream. Find your triggers (time of day, after a meeting, after a specific task) and create diversions and alternative space to alter your behaviors. I find planning tasks during specific time frames of the day increases focus and productivity. For example, I won’t allow myself to check email during “writing time.”

4– MOVE.  Movement sparks energy. Walking. Journaling. Actions that release tension and build momentum.  There will always be bad days. Acknowledge them. Release the tension and let it go. Keep focused on the goal – your WHY – and make your goals a priority.  Action is required for any goal attainment.

5 – Find accountability. Find support.  Reach out to a friend or colleague. Hire a coach. Schedule a weekly touch base call with a mentor or individual who will spark more action. Read something funny. Be playful.  Breathe. Keep a quote or song that will get your juices flowing in sight.

6 – Live in Gratitude.  Find appreciation in the little things. Tell someone how they inspire you. Focus outward. Lastly, remember that joy on the journey is what it’s all about. If we we’re waiting for the end result to feel happy, or accomplished, we’re missing out on all the special moments that make us who we are.

Would love to hear how you’re using this time to achieve your goals. Please leave your ideas and thoughts below.

 

Wordpress Social Share Plugin powered by Ultimatelysocial